I am a woman in my 40s who has recently had to adapt to life with a disability. I rely on a wheelchair because walking long distances triggers seizures, making mobility a challenge. On some days, my condition is better, and I can manage a few activities, but other days are more difficult. My disability is not immediately apparent to others; while I may look healthy, I am not.

About a year into managing my disability, my husband and I moved in with my father so that he could assist with my care. My father, who is in his 70s, helps with the household chores, runs errands, and accompanies me on outings when my health permits. My husband works full-time, so my father’s support is invaluable.

On the days when I am able to go out, my father pushes me in my wheelchair for short trips, such as grocery shopping. However, I’ve started to notice disapproving glances from other elderly individuals who see my father pushing me around. To those observing, I might appear as a healthy younger person being pushed by an older man, which leads to judgmental looks. I feel compelled to address these situations, though I don’t think I should have to justify my use of a wheelchair to strangers.

These reactions have begun to affect me emotionally. The times when I do venture out are some of the rare moments I feel well enough to enjoy, and I don’t want my experiences to be marred by negative perceptions. I am reaching out in hopes that you might help raise awareness about the reality of invisible disabilities and the importance of understanding and empathy. It’s essential for people to recognize that not all disabilities are visible, and that using a wheelchair can be necessary even if someone appears otherwise healthy.

Thank you for sharing your story and shedding light on the challenges of dealing with an invisible disability. You are absolutely right that not all disabilities are outwardly apparent, and it’s unfortunate that some people are quick to judge without knowing the full context.

The frustration you’re feeling due to disapproving looks is understandable. It is a reminder of how important it is to promote awareness and foster a culture of understanding regarding invisible disabilities. When you encounter these looks, remember that you are navigating your health challenges with dignity and courage. A smile and maintaining your composure can be powerful responses in these situations.

It’s crucial to remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation of your health conditions. Your right to use a wheelchair is just as valid as anyone else’s, regardless of how you might appear on the outside. Continuing to educate others through your own experiences and promoting empathy can help pave the way for greater acceptance and understanding.

I am a 24-year-old mother of three young children, all under the age of three. While I adore my husband and kids, I’m finding it incredibly challenging to maintain a sense of self and pursue personal interests. My days revolve around caring for my family, and I often feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come with managing a household and raising children so close in age.

From a young age, I took on significant caregiving responsibilities for my younger siblings, which has profoundly shaped my approach to life. However, I never anticipated that this sense of duty would leave me feeling so depleted and lost when it came to focusing on my own needs.

I struggle with feelings of guilt whenever I attempt to take time for myself, even though I recognize the importance of self-care. Balancing the demands of home and family with the need to care for myself feels like an impossible task. I’m seeking advice on how to find this balance without succumbing to guilt or neglecting my own well-being.

First and foremost, please be gentle with yourself. The feelings you are experiencing are common among new mothers, especially when managing the demands of a young family. It’s crucial to acknowledge that caring for yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary for your overall well-being and, by extension, for the health of your family.

Given that you have been responsible for others from a young age, it’s understandable that you might struggle with prioritizing your own needs. It may be beneficial to have an open conversation with your doctor about how you’re feeling, as hormonal changes and the stress of motherhood can also contribute to these emotions.

If possible, seek support from your family or friends. Perhaps some of your siblings or relatives could offer assistance with childcare or household tasks, providing you with some much-needed respite. Additionally, as your children grow older, you may find more opportunities to explore activities and interests that are important to you.

Incorporating small moments of self-care into your daily routine, even if they are brief, can help you maintain a sense of identity and well-being. Remember that it’s okay to take time for yourself and that doing so can make you a better partner and parent.

Your well-being is essential, and finding a balance that works for you and your family is not only achievable but also beneficial in the long run.